


Out Of The Dark - Back Into Life

by Riverchester



Series: s13 - random thoughts and Codas [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Emotional, Episode: s13e03 Patience, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Season/Series 13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-26 23:43:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12568856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riverchester/pseuds/Riverchester
Summary: Dean gets a call that Patience had a vision again. A vision about Cas. New hope comes up that with her help and Jack, Dean will get his angel back.13x03 Coda "Patience"





	Out Of The Dark - Back Into Life

**Author's Note:**

> Before we'll get Cas back in the series and something bad will probably happen, I just wanted to indulge into a little cheesy Destiel moment.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it :)

Bathed in sweat, Patience wakes up from the dream. She clutches the sheets in her hands and breathes heavily. _Not again_.

She doesn’t tell her dad about the nightmare, and slowly forgets about it the following day, but when she jolts out of sleep again that night, she starts to realize it’s not a nightmare at all. It’s a vision. Seeing the sun rise through her window, she glances over to the nightstand and grabs the card.

 _If you need someone to talk to,_ Jody had said. Patience types the number into her phone and waits for someone to answer on the other side.

“Hello?” comes Jody’s voice.

“Jody? Hi, it’s Patience. I’m sorry to call this early, but… you said that if I’d need someone to talk to, I could give you a call.” She tries to bring her breath under control, images of darkness still flickering in her mind.

“Yes, of course. Is something wrong?” The other woman’s voice sounds concerned.

“I… I had a vision. I thought it was a nightmare, but it came back this night and I don’t know what to do about it. It’s not like last time, I’m not present in this or anyone I know.”

“Okay, calm down. We’ll figure this out. Can you explain what you saw?”

Patience closes her eyes for a moment, recalling the darkness in her mind, the man screaming at the top of his lungs.

“It… It’s dark,” she says, “pitch-black. And there’s a man… he’s alone and he screams.”

“Good, can you tell me what he screams?”

She presses her eyes together even more, but there is no sound. “No, I- I can’t hear anything. I just see him. He looks frightened.”

“It’s okay. Tell me what he looks like.” Jody speaks with a calming voice. It helps Patience not loose herself in the vision.

“He’s… maybe in his forties. Dark hair. He has bright blue eyes and he wears a trench coat. A dark suit under it… and a blue tie” It gets harder and harder for her to keep the image in her head.

“What?” Jody asks. She sounds startled.

“Does he remind you of someone?”

“Yes… I mean, I don’t know why you would see him. That shouldn’t even be possible, but if it really is him…” Jody pauses for a moment, apparently doing something in the background. “Patience, I have to make a call. Go back to sleep and don’t worry about it any longer. I’ll call you back when I know more, okay?”

 

\----------

 

The ringing sounds loud in Dean’s ears, but he doesn’t feel like lifting his head from the kitchen table. He didn’t sleep last night. He didn’t sleep the night before that but the beer kind of helps him to keep it together. After he came back from the hunt with Jody and after the talk with Sam, his mood only got worse. Why doesn’t Sam understand him? Why doesn’t he see that all Jack’s birth brought them was death and despair?

“Dude, your phone!” Sam says as he comes into the kitchen. “You look like shit. How much did you drink?” he adds and picks up Dean’s phone, which stopped ringing by now.

“So what? If you want to play babysitter, go to that thing in our guest room.”

“Dean, stop it. You missed a call from Jody. Want me to call her back?”

The older hunter stands up slowly from the table and walks over to his brother to take his phone out of the other man’s hand. “No, I’ll do it myself.”

Jody picks up immediately. “Dean?”

“Hey, Jody. What’s up?”

He notices that she hesitates to continue and asks himself if something is wrong with Claire or Alex.

“I got a call from Patience. She… she had a vision. It wasn’t like the ones she had before, and I think you should know about it.”

Whatever it is, Jody seems to be startled by it. “Jody, what is it?”

“She saw darkness. Complete darkness and a man in it. Mid-forty, dark hair, bright blue eyes… in a trench coat. He was screaming, but she couldn’t hear what it was.”

Dean doesn’t answer anything. Is Jody implying that… does she think it might be…? No, that’s not possible. Cas is dead!

“Dean, listen, I know it doesn’t have to be him, but what if it is Cas? I wasn’t sure if I should call you, if I should give you… _hope_. But I think we have to consider that it’s him, right?”

Everything around him starts to blur. He has to sit down and starts breathing heavily. Sam’s expression shows him how alarming he must look like.

“Jody,” he starts, the voice hoarse, “I call you back. I… I need a moment.” Dean doesn’t wait for her answer before he hangs up and stares into the room. His view doesn’t focus on anything, just like his mind can’t focus on the possibility that what Patience saw in her vision was truly Cas.

“Dean. Dean what’s up? Is something with Jody?” His brother’s voice brings him back from whatever mental isolation he’s been in.

“Patience… Missouri’s granddaughter. She had a vision… Jody thinks it’s Cas.” His voice is quiet and evenly, the complete opposite of his thoughts.

“What? How… how can she be sure? What was this vision like?”

Dean repeats the exact wording of what Jody had just told him and his brother’s face lights up. “Dean, that’s great! We will find him. I don’t know how, but we will do it.”

Dean is about to tell him they won’t. He’s about to tell Sam that this vision doesn’t change anything, that Cas is dead and will stay dead, no matter how hard he wishes for his angel to come back. _His angel_ …

But he doesn’t get to tell Sam all this, because Jack comes rushing into the kitchen, eyes wide and gasping. “I feel my father,” he says, “I can feel Castiel.”

Sam and Dean both jump from their seats at that, the younger hunter quicker in finding his words. “What do you mean you can _feel_ him?”

“I don’t know how to describe it,” Jack starts. He looks nervous from Sam to him. “I remember his presence from before I was born and now I feel it too. But… it’s blurry, vague.”

“Can you see where he is? Or can you maybe even bring him back?” It’s Sam speaking again. Dean just stands and watches his brother and the Nephilim, focusing on nothing but his breath. The tensions in his chest is almost too much.

“No. I want to, but I can’t… grab him. The feeling is not strong enough to hold him. The image keeps slipping away.”

Sam turns to him and looks him in the eye with an expression that tells Dean exactly what his brother is thinking. _Patience._ And for the first time since that horrible day at the cabin in the woods, Dean starts hoping. Hoping that he’ll be able to see his angel again, to make up for all his mistakes. Hoping that he’ll get the chance to finally say what Cas means to him.

They pack up and are out of the bunker in five minutes, Dean flooring the gas pedal most of the way to their destination. He calls Jody, tells her about the plan and asks her to inform Patience about their arrival. The sun is already setting when they come to a halt in the driveway he left only a few days ago.

The teenager, the one Dean builds his hopes on, waits outside the building. She approaches him when he gets out of his car, followed by his brother and Jack.

“Hey, Jody called me. She said my vision might show someone you know and that I could help you find him.”

“Yes. I… I don’t know if she’s right about it. About it being Cas, but we need to try. Can you… can you show me what you saw?” He needs to see it. He needs to be sure that this girl in front of him really had a vision about Cas. Now that he thinks about it, it’s ridiculous. Why would she see him, when she doesn’t even know him?

Patience looks at him nervously. “I don’t know if I can. I don’t know how,” she starts but her expression softens after a short pause, “But I’ll try. Maybe… you should give me your hands? Or If I touch your forehead? Isn’t that how they do it in the movies?”

Dean doesn’t know if it’ll work, but he steps closer to her and bends his head forward. He closes his eyes and feels Patience’s fingers touch his temples. And then he waits. He concentrates on his breathing when nothing happens at first, but he doesn’t give up. Not now. After a minute or two – it feels like an hour – the image in his head changes. It’s still dark but there’s a spot, a light fighting its way through the black fog. And then he sees him. Cas, his angel, surrounded by nothing but shadow. He wears the trench coat, has the same tousled hair. It really is him. And he seems to be frightened.

“Cas,” he yells, as if he could reach the other man that way.

The image disappears, and Dean is back on the front porch of Patience’s house, with his brother and Jack standing beside him. “It is Cas. It really is him,” he adds, almost breathless, before he turns to the girl again. “Show it to him,” he says and points at Jack, “Show him what you showed me. Please.”

He starts breathing heavily again and Sam rests a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. But Dean doesn’t want to calm down. Is there really a chance for him to get Cas back?

“Maybe not here. Can we go inside?” his brother asks.

“Yes, my dad knows you were coming. Let’s go into the living room.”

The three men follow her into the house, where they shortly say hello to her father. He doesn’t seem to be pleased with the situation, but Dean is glad he still lets Patience help them.

The anticipation is the worst. Dean knows this may not work at all, but he wishes with all he has that Jack would make it. He even prays. When Patience rests her fingers on Jack’s temples just like she did with him, Dean can do nothing but wait. He stands close to his brother, who seems to be just as tense as himself. A minute passes by, then another, and another. The hand on the clock moves and still nothing happens, but nobody stops. They all watch the two teenagers standing in the center of the room, eyes closed and noticeably focused.

Slowly, very slowly, Dean feels something. It’s nothing but an itching at first, but it turns into a buzz then into vibration. The air in the room heats up and feels electrified.

With a sound like the ripping of paper, just very loud, a rift opens between Patience and Jack, sending them both to the ground. Dean shields his eyes from the light but can’t turn his eyes away when slowly a figure come into sight in front of him. It’s Cas.

When the last bit of fabric of his coat is through the rift, the light and buzz disappear just as suddenly as they showed up. Dean jumps forward to catch the collapsing body of his angel. Everyone is quiet except him. He can’t be quiet because he holds the warm, breathing body of Cas in his hands, so Dean starts to cry. He really has him back. Sam steps to his side to help him lift the angel on the couch. He’s not unconscious but visibly dazed.

“Cas! Hey, Cas, can you hear me?” Dean says when he manages to calm his voice.

Gradually, Cas’ expression gets clearer and his eyes focus on Dean’s.

“Dean?” he asks, his voice rough as ever. Castiel looks around the room, apparently puzzled how he got here.

“Yes, Cas, it’s me. Oh god, I can’t believe you’re here. You’re alive. Tell me you’re okay.”

“I.. I’m okay. But how?”

Jack steps closer to them and kneels to Cas’ right. “Father?” he says.

At Cas’ quizzically expression, Sam explains everything that happened. He talks about Lucifer and Kelly and their mom. He explains why Jack isn’t a baby and why he calls him father. All the while, Dean just stares at them. He watches Cas’ reaction to everything, searching for the slightest sign of hurt in the angel’s face and gestures. He doesn’t say anything because right in this moment, he has everything he truly needs. Cas is back in his life and it would be presumptuous to ask for more.

After a while, the reunited Team Free Will plus Jack decide to head back to the bunker. Dean probably says thanks to Patience more than a dozen times, and it still doesn’t feel like enough. They are back on the road, Jack and Cas in the backseat, and stay quiet for the first hour until the Nephilim suddenly speaks again.

“I hope you hate me less, Dean,” he says and catches everyone’s attention, “Now that I brought Castiel back. I began to realize that not only I needed him, as a father. You needed him back most. I’m glad I could do that.”

Dean can’t tear his eyes away from the young man in the rearview mirror. He can feel his brother’s glance beside him and sees Cas’ bewildered look out of the corner of his eye, but he is focused on Jack.

“No, Jack. I don’t hate you. And thank you. Thank you very much.”

Everyone smiles at that and the atmosphere seems to be calm and comfortable for once. Back home, Jack and Cas disappear into Jack’s room. It’s understandable that they need a moment together. But Dean feels tense again, because he fears that he won’t have as much time with Cas as he hopes for. And because he doesn’t know how he should approach that one topic still nagging at his mind. When Cas was dead, Dean regretted that he’d been too damn cowardly to tell his angel how he feels, but now, there’s this voice again, telling him he’ll get rejected. It drives him crazy.

Sam excuses himself to bed, so Dean is alone again and heads over to his room, too. He is about to clean up the mess he made over the last few days, when he hears a knock on the door, followed by Cas slowly opening it.

The angel steps into the room and looks around. His expression turns sad. “You’ve been drinking.” He says. It’s not a question, it’s a statement, seeing all those bottles on the floor and the table.

Dean huffs laughs under his breath. “What did you expect? I thought you were gone for good.”

Cas steps closer to him, looking him directly in the eyes. Just like he always does, piercing and blue and mesmerizing. “And you blamed Jack for it.”

Yes, sure. That had to come up. “Look, Cas, you ran away with Kelly because that kid put something in your head. And then he opened that portal and then you…” He can’t even finish the sentence without tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

“It was still my choice to go with Kelly. My choice to protect Jack,” Cas interjects, “And it was Lucifer who stabbed me with the angel blade, not him.”

Dean sighs. He knows that. And he knows that he might have been too harsh to Jack. “I know,” he says, “But I lost everything! I had to witness how you died, just a few steps away from me, and I blamed Jack because I could. Because if it wasn’t his fault, then it would’ve been me who failed. It would’ve been me, who let the best thing that happened to me, die right before my eyes. And I just couldn’t… I couldn’t have handled that.” He cries now. He cries because everything he suppressed with alcohol and stubbornness, the whole grief, bubbles to the surface in that moment.

“Dean.” Cas’ voice is soft and gentle, as is his hand when the angel steps even closer to Dean and brushes the tears out of his face.

“I love you,” Dean sobs. No turning back now, no stopping all the things he wanted to say for so long. “I love you, Cas. I don’t know since when, I don’t know how it happened, but I do. And it hurt, it hurt so much. You went with Kelly and left me alone, and when I found you, you died in front of me and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. I lost hope, Cas. I saw your wings on the ground and I thought ‘that’s it’. I blamed Jack for your death and I yelled at Sam for still having hope, because I lost it. I’m so sorry Cas. For everything. For every damn stupid mistake, for every time I let you down and yelled at you. I’m sorry.”

Dean doesn’t exactly know when he got embraced by Cas, but by the time he finishes talking, he feels the other man’s warmth surrounding him completely. And it feels like home.

“I love you too, Dean,” Cas speaks to his ear. “And I’m sorry, that you had to go through this. I promise, I’ll do my very best to never leave you again. If I have anything to say in it, I’ll be always at your side. If you let me.”

“Always,” Dean says, his tears finally fading. The two men stay embraced by each other for another long minute. Eventually, they part, and Dean knows he looks puffy.

“I’m gross,” he says, laughing.

“No, you’re beautiful, Dean,” Cas answers.

They stare into each other’s eyes and Dean can’t wrap his head around what just happened. Cas loves him. His angel loves him back and is standing alive and well in front of him.

“Can I kiss you,” Dean asks.

Cas’ face lights up and he has this unique smile that shines through his eyes. “Yes, please,” he says.

Dean leans in and presses his lips on Cas’. It’s not the most passionate or erotic or even the technically best kiss he ever had, but it’s the most important. Because it’s Cas. It’s funny, how simple this all sounds to Dean now. How… _natural_. Because in the end they’re just a man and an angel. They had a rough start but managed to become friends during the apocalypse. And now, there’s hardly anything they won’t work out. Isn’t that what they do? They break things and fix things and still have each other’s back. It’s family… It’s love.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” Dean asks. “I don’t want to be alone.”

And again, there’s this gentle, small smile on Cas face that only Dean gets to see. “Of course, Dean.”

Dean undresses to his boxers and T-shirt, because he’s very tired suddenly. He offers Cas sweatpants, too, and they both climb under the sheets.

Cas actually falls asleep as soon as they’re settled in comfortably and Dean chuckles.

The hunter and his angel are curled up in bed together at the end of an overwhelming day. Enveloping the body clinging to his chest, Dean nestles his nose in the dark mop of hair in front of him. He still can't believe they actually made it here. That he can hold the man he loves so close to his heart. That he can smell the faint scent of wind and grass or feel the soft snoring vibrating through his angel's body. He definitely can get used to this. Absent-mindedly tracing his fingers over Cas' body, Dean closes his eyes. Right before he drifts off to peaceful sleep he whispers, "I prayed for this."

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos / comments if you like :)


End file.
